There was one special
puffer-type wee coaster that had
a lucrative contract picking up
the big barrels of malt whiskey
from various distilleries around
the west coast of Scotland
including the proud names from
Islay. Some of the contents were
later bottled and labelled as
Single Malt Whisky, their
prestigious names and historical
background displayed on the
labels. Other barrels were
destined for inclusion in a wide
range of blended grain whiskys
giving their own distinctive
input to the specified blended
name –very often a well known
household name in its own right.
On my first occasion
to visit this vessel it was to
carry out a radio inspection
prior to the Post Office Radio
Surveyor checking the condition
and validity of the ship’s Radio
Licence. It so happened that not
only was the Radio Licence due
for renewal but their decks,
hull and engine were also due
for renewal. As such there was
myself, the Radio Surveyor,
Lloyds men for Engine, Hull and
Decks.
The Skipper very
‘kindly’ invited all of us to
his cabin for ‘a wee dram’
before we started on our various
inspections. As we sat around
the cabin- in fairly close
proximity I might say in the
small cabin, the Mate arrived to
enquire what particular Malt was
our individual preference. The
Skipper asked- “ Murdoch- what
can we offer these gentlemen
this time?” Murdoch proceeded
to reel off such names as
Ardbeg, Lagavullan, La Froagh,
Jura,several
Glens- and others just as
special. Having told Murdoch our
requests – he disappeared for a
while to return with a large
tray and glasses that were to
the top side of being half-full.
As far as I know, all
of our inspections were
completed successfully- and
‘pass’ certificates were duly
issued.
I found out later that
the variety and generosity of
the puffer’s Skipper was due to
the expedient of going down into
the hold of the puffer and
approaching one of the large
barrels of each selected single
malt with a hand drill and a
very small drill-bit.
Having drilled a minute orifice,
a very fine flow of
distinguished golden ‘ water of
life’ would be directed into a
small container. When the
container was full- a sliver of
wood or straw would be inserted
into the wee hole, neatly
stopping ‘God’s Gift to
Scotland.’
Then one after the
other the necessary barrels
would be treated to the same
operation until the visitor’s
orders had been complied with-
and then after glasses had been
substituted for the wee
containers- Murdoch would appear
smiling before the visitors and
the Skipper would say –“Ah!
there you are Murdoch that’s
very good of you.!!”
Before reaching the
port of delivery-a razor blade
would deftly shave the straw or
wood sliver level with the wood
of the barrel. At the port of
delivery, it was noted –and
expected- that when discharging
the barrels of ‘you know what’-
the crane driver would
accidentally bump a barrel onto
the ground –just enough to start
a leak or two. Before it was
repaired- like magic- the
dockers would appear with cups
or mugs while the going was
good!.
Bill Mills
